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Celebrity Jokes:

Kim Kardashian's nude cover photo of Paper Magazine break the internet? The only way she could "Break The Internet" is if she sat on it.

Tiger Woods was recently seen hanging with his ex-wife and girlfriend. He said "Hey, we need one more for a foursome."

Oscar winning actress from Silence Of The Lambs and The Accused, recenty got married. I wonder if she'll have a foster child?

Lena Dunham says that Woody Allen "nauseates her." Well, seeing her naked on TV nauseates the rest of us.

Justin Bieber is accused of egging his neighbor's house. As an excuse, he told the police his reasoning was that the egg came first.

The only person who cuts up more people than Joan Rivers is her plastic surgeon.

I think everyone is happy that Khloe Kardashian is divorcing Lamar Odom. I also think everyone is even happier for the kids they didn't have.

Christie Brinkley revealed her Anti-Aging Secret: She said it was when she dumped Billy Joel!

Lady Gaga admitted having an addiction to Pot. I guess that's why she could never keep her poker face.

After reading all this nonsense said by Jenny McCarthy, I wonder if she's related to Charlie McCarthy. Because she's a real dummy!

I don't get that most celebrities don't have real teeth, but rednecks have their real tooth.

Virgin Airlines does not have a mile high club. If they did they would have to change the name to "Slut Airlines" and sell Lady Gaga perfume.

An artist created a portrait of Honey Boo Boo using trash. Actually, it was white trash!

When Hugh Hefner got married he let his 27 year old wife pick their honeymoon spot: Forrest Lawn

Heather Graham once told Conan O'Brien that she studied a book on hour-long orgasms. My wife read the same book or claims she did.

Jerry Lewis keeps saying that he "canít watch women do comedy." I asked a female comedian about that and she said "Jerry who?"

Michael Douglas claims he got cancer from oral sex. Then I suppose I got VD from a toilet seat.

The real reason why Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas split: She said the cause of the separation was that he was a cunning linguist.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta announced that he changed his mind about weed. Actually, after trying it, his mind changed him.

Lady Gaga and Madonna are banned from Russia for their stance on gays. However, Edward Snowden wasn't because he was only a whistle-blower.

Al Roker was playing poker wiith President Obama. Obama told him that his hand stinks. Roker replied, "I'm sorry Mr. President, that's not my hand."

Lance Armstrong turned down a spot on Dancing With The Stars. I'm quite surprised by this, because if he won, he'd get another ball!


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